Journey #2?!

It's kind of surreal to be back on here writing. I am super excited to say in July I was approached from an out of state couple looking for a surrogate. We ended up not being a match for one another, but there's a kindling in my heart again and when my previous agency reached out to me I knew I needed to listen.

As you are reading this I am on my way to meet ANOTHER Kansas couple. Emotions and nerves are high. This evening and tomorrow are big days, we are blindly walking into dinner with two people we know nothing about. As I sit here terrified, I also put myself in their shoes. I can't imagine anxiously awaiting to meet a woman that could possibly be the person to help bring your baby home. *cue heart palpitations* 

Tomorrow I meet with their reproductive endocrinologist. I have a few extra hoops to jump having had three c-sections. Each c-section poses a risk and that is not taken lightly in the surrogacy world. I will be poked and prodded and have every bit of my medical history scrutinized. Jared and I also have a three hour psychological evaluation. 

I keep telling myself if this is meant to be everything will work out. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I walk this crazy, exciting road again. 

P.s. The twins and their family are doing amazing! Their support and love on a possible second journey has been so reassuring. 

Long Overdue

Where do I even start? Life became super busy after I had the twins. I soaked up every bit of my maternity leave with my children over the summer and I had a shift in my position at work that has required crazy amounts of my time. It's been six months since I gave birth to my sweet surro babes. That is so crazy to say SIX MONTHS.

There were a few things going into this surrogacy that I wanted to experience if possible, but ultimately would be happy with whatever the outcome was. I was hoping to carry a boy since I had my two girls, I wanted to be able to make a surprise call to their mamma when it was go time, and I wanted to experience what actual labor is like. I am a repeat c-section mamma so the last two in my mind were most likely not going to happen, but we can all dream.

In my last post I was 32 weeks and things were smooth sailing. My, how things can change in the blink of an eye. Just a short week later, I found myself in labor and delivery with some pretty intense cramping. That cramping turned out to be contractions that were progressively getting worse. After a few different medication attempts to stop labor the choice was made to transfer to a bigger hospital more equipped to care for preterm twins. The boys took their very first airplane ride in utero! To make a long story short, labor was finally stopped and I was released after 4 days in the hospital. I was put on bed rest so we could hopefully get the boys to at least 36 weeks. Trying to waddle myself around would get the contractions stirring, but thankfully would stop if I cooled my jets. For those of you who know me, taking it easy or having others do things for me is not easy. I did it though! I hit 36 weeks and with the boys trying to call the shots, I had a new c-section date set for June 26th at 37 weeks 1 day.

The boys had different plans and were most definitely still calling the shots. June 22nd was an off day for me. I had told the boys mother that I had felt off all day. I was emotional and just in this weird funk. I literally bawled trying to get a package of meat out of the freezer. I went to bed that evening more uncomfortable, hot and flat out more miserable than normal. At almost 37 weeks pregnant with twins uncomfortable is a way of life, so I didn't think anything was actually going on. Around 1am I was sleeping, but coherent enough to feel a pop. Let me tell you that getting out of bed at this point is a sight for sore eyes. It’s this attempt of rolling/sliding off the bed to hopefully make it to your feet and then catching your breath once you are up. I wish I had a recording of myself getting out of bed when I felt that pop!! I deserve a medal for that move is all I know! I was up and out of bed before a huge gush of water hit the floor. How I didn't get a drop on the bed baffles me. This wasn't a trickle of fluid it was a flood. Shaking like a leaf I woke my husband up who thought I was having a leg cramp until he felt my wet leg. Its funny how a little amniotic fluid will wake a person right up. He flew out of bed and grabbed me a towel to contain the lake I had around me feet and I made my way to the bathroom leaving a trail behind me.

When I made it to the bathroom, I called the boys' mom. She answered in just a few short rings. Excited and scared this was it. The boys were coming! She was going to get things situated at home and they would be on their way. After a few more phone calls we left for the hospital. At this point, I wasn't contracting. If I was, I didn't know it from all the adrenaline. We made it just outside of town and the pain started. Contractions. Real active labor contractions are no joke! Add two moving babies and leaking fluid in the middle of a contraction and you have a full on party! We made it to the hospital shortly after 2am, I think. I was definitely in labor- contracting every 2 minutes and ready to finally meet these boys. Mom and Dad made it to the hospital around 3am and we had a c-section time for around 6. At 6:33am Orion 6lbs 8oz and Jagger 6lbs 5oz met their mom and dad. The one thing I wanted my intended parents to know at the birth was not to worry about me. This was their long awaited moment with THEIR babies. I wasn't going anywhere. After they had their time alone to count fingers and toes and to just stare at that those beautiful little beings, I'd be there. I after all, I had them with me for almost 9 months. Shortly after recovery when I was feeling much better, Shiloh and Lindsey AKA Dad and Mom introduced me to the boys. With tears in each of our eyes, Lindsey handed me Orion. I can tell you there is no greater feeling in the world than to watch two amazingly-deserving people look at their babies. Little memories that only I can keep like the smile Lindsey gave her son while she fed him or the way Shiloh lowered his ear to make sure they were breathing. Those little moments are why I wanted to become a surrogate. The indescribable joy I received from my children, I was able to give back.

Seven weeks after the boys were born, baby C that Lindsey was carrying was born. Willow is a beautiful, head full of dark hair angel. It is one busy household with four children all two and under, but it’s also one blessed household. From adoption to surrogacy to natural conception it's not a story you will hear of often. To think I'm lucky enough to be part of it!

I hear more often than not, “that had to have been so hard”. No, it wasn't hard. I knew exactly what I was doing going into this and those sweet little boys were not mine. Now, was it emotional? Yes. The day we all were discharged from the hospital, I was a mess. Ugly crying is an understatement. I wasn't sad, I was overcome with emotion. This long journey had came to an end. This wasn't goodbye. I knew I had gained a new family. I got more than what I prayed for. An amazing family, close proximity, TWO boys, a surprise birthday, a taste of labor and most of all, a bond. Because of surrogacy I am a better wife, mother, friend and teacher! 

Last but certainly not least, I have to thank my husband. He graciously sacrificed his wife for a year while I fulfilled my dream. He was my shoulder to cry on, shot giver, maid, and Mr. Mom. He was just as involved in the process as I was and I could not have done it without him. Thank you babe. 

40 Days to Go!

I'm sorry to all you that have been anxiously awaiting an update. Making it to my 3rd trimester, there hasn't been too much to update on. I can't complain, as that means things are going perfectly.

At 28 weeks I failed my first glucose test. I was super bummed and worried that it would cause complications as we made it through the last 10 weeks of pregnancy. However, I passed my three-hour glucose test!

 

Both boys are growing on track. Two weeks ago, they were chunky little monkeys weighing in at 3lbs 14oz and 3lbs 5oz. Baby A is breech while baby B is head down and presenting. I have a scheduled C-section for July 3rd if I don't go into labor before hand.

Most you have been asking how my intended momma is doing with her pregnancy, and I am very happy to report that she's doing fantastic. Absolutely no complications so far and baby looks beautiful. I do know the gender of the little bundle in her tummy and have been given permission to share it if I'd like. I'd love to tell you all, but kind of enjoy the power of not telling!

I can't be that mean.....baby C is a.........

GIRL!!!!!!!

How exciting is that?! They are going to have one busy, blessed household with two girls and two boys!

As for myself, I am feeling large! The 3rd trimester always seems to take the longest to get through just because you are so uncomfortable. I will miss these boys when they are no longer with me, but I'll be ready to get back to my normal self. 

32 weeks

This will probably be my last post until the boys are born. I can't thank you all enough for all the support we've received. Every talk, message, or post has meant the world to me. Praying that we have a smooth and healthy delivery is all I can ask for. I can't wait to share the news when they arrive and update you on how we are doing!

I Didn't See That Coming!

17 weeks until we get to meet these little boys! That’s if I don’t go into labor or my water breaks beforehand. I would absolutely love if I could call their mom and dad to say its baby day by surprise. I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed. Our 20 week scan looked great with baby A weighing in above average at 14oz and baby B at 13oz. Both babies will continue to put on weight as a singleton until 28 weeks when twin growth usually slows down.

As for now I’m feeling fantastic and honestly feel like I’m caring only one baby. On occasion I’ll have a difficult time breathing. My guess is the little stinkers are stretching out and compressing everything up into my lungs. Cravings are still fresh fruit and veggies, breakfast foods always sound good and a weird concoction of Spaghetti O’s with cottage cheese, which I did not consume because I didn’t have Spaghetti O’s, but man it sounded so good at that moment.

For those of you who don’t follow me on Instagram, I received Belly Buds from my intended parents. They are little speakers I stick to my belly and with an app their parents can record anything from a simple conversation, storybooks, or  dad playing the guitar. It’s been so important to me that the boys hear their parent’s voice daily and now with working little ears we have a new bedtime routine with our Belly Buds. The boys love it! I didn’t think I’d get such an immediate response, but the boys moved like crazy the first night!

With permission from my intended parents I have been granted the opportunity to tell you a little bit about what lead them to surrogacy and some BIG news. 

My intended momma never had a normal menstrual cycle in her adolescence, so it wasn’t a big surprise that they hit a speed bump when they decided to start trying for a baby. After seeing doctors it was discovered that she had a bi-unicornuate uterus . A bi-cornuate uterus is heart-shaped with two conjoined cavities. A typical uterus only has a single cavity.

After surgery to remove the smaller section of her uterus and a fallopian tube they decided to give IVF a go. My sweet intended parents dove right in with a few egg retrievals, three IVF transfers which were unsuccessful and  two cycles for transfer that were cancelled due to her body not being where it needed to be for transfer.

With a big sign from God they decided to stop the IVF process and start an adoption journey. They were instantly matched and have a beautiful daughter that they are so proud to call theirs. She is truly the apple of their eye and so very blessed.

Now that left them with the question of what to do with the three remaining embryos they had frozen? After long conversations and healing they decided to look into surrogacy. This is where we met and I knew there was something special about them. And so to now you have read and followed our journey to this point!

Imagine my shock and disbelief when on a “girls” day with my intended mom she pulls out a sonogram picture. I’m pretty sure my mouth hit the floor as we both were fighting back tears. After years of trying to get pregnant and finally having babies via surrogacy BAM pregnant. I am so happy to say that baby C (the intended moms baby) looks great to date and I am officially 8.5 weeks ahead of her with my pregnancy. Not many surrogates get to walk the pregnancy journey with their intended mom. This is just another blessing and one more thing that makes our story truly incredible.  

Mind blown, right?! It’s still crazy for me to think about. While I always ask for prayers I now would like you to add the new little one growing inside my intended momma and for her as well. I want happy healthy pregnancies and babies all the way around!

One Trimester Down,Two to Go!

110 pills (that consisted of birth control, antibiotics, steroids, and baby aspirin), 54 injections, 119 patches, and 141 vaginal suppositories over 102 days, BUT we've made it to 14 weeks. I can't believe I'm 1/3 of the way finished with this pregnancy. Some days I feel like it's creeping by, but in the blink of an eye these babies are going to be here!!!  Right HERE!!!

December was bittersweet for my intended parents and I. On December 18th I officially weaned off all medications and graduated from Colorado Center of Reproductive Medicine to my regular OB/GYN. We developed such a wonderful bond with our nurse and a sense of security being in their care that it’s sad to let them go. On the bright side, this means the boys are growing and my body is doing what it should to help these little guys meet their parents!!!

I have definitely been hit with more "morning" sickness than I had with the girls. My evenings were down right miserable and usually landed me in bed by 7 most nights. I am starting to feel much better this week and my energy is slowly coming back!!! I've had cravings for fresh fruit and vegetables, anything spicy, and pancakes so far.

For now I see my doctor every 4 weeks and both boys have sounded fantastic at each appointment to this point!!!  I've gained 14 lbs from the start of meds to now. Not too shabby considering fertility drugs can take a toll on your weight. We will have our 20 week anatomy scan in just SIX short weeks. I am really excited to see how much they have grown and for mom and dad to see more than little blobs on the screen. Prayers that we keep trucking right along.

Give Thanks

Thanksgiving is a time to come together to share what we are grateful for. Today I'm thankful for all the love and support I've received from everyone. I'm also thankful for my amazing intended parents. I can honestly say they are more than just intended parents, they are family. I love and care for them like I have known them for years. No matter the outcome of this cycle I knew we gained some pretty special people in our lives.

Today's appointment took forever to arrive. Once we finally made it to 1 o'clock they kept us waiting on the edge of our seats in the waiting room. Patience most certainly was hurting me.

I am over the moon to say we have heartbeat. Let me rephrase that, I am ecstatic to say that we have HEARTBEATS!

Baby A and Baby B are measuring right on track with new heartbeats measuring at 114 and 117 beats per minute perfect for this gestation.

Not only do we have twins, but we have genders too! Both little bundles of joy are BOYS!

Again, I ask that you keep us all in your prayers. Prayers that these little ones grow and that this pregnancy goes nice and smooth over the next 7 months. Thank you Lord for this wonderful blessing!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Results

Waiting for beta results has been agonizing today. Waiting all day just to hear that magic number can truly make a person insane.

I went from insane to flat out stupid after I got the call. 

I couldn't process anything going on around me. 

Not a word.

Not a thought.

Not a darn thing.

Am I pregnant?

Beta hcg levels needed to be at least 50 to confirm pregnancy. My levels.......

716......716.......omg 716!

I'm so very pregnant! I couldn't be happier! I'm still in awe that I have been given the chance to do this and it's actually happening.

Please pray that these babies grow big and strong and that we see heartbeats in 16 days. Sono will confirm if we have one or two babies growing, but I'm feeling like we definitely have two!