You would think that with this being my second journey things would be a breeze. Sure, I know what I am doing with doctor appointments and medications, but emotionally I have been a mess. After transfer, I questioned everything I did. Was my shower too hot, did I keep my feet up long enough, were my feet too cold, did I move too fast? Every little superstition you read from fellow IVFers runs through your mind. You tell yourself that nothing you do can affect the outcome of this baby implanting and thriving, but you secretly know you will be devastated if that pregnancy test comes back negative. Once you get that positive, the worry is still there. Are my hormone levels high enough? I feel good today.. great, something must be wrong, on top of being scared to use the restroom in fear of finding blood. I think the biggest worry of all, is watching my intended parents hearts break if we don't find a heartbeat. I don't want to be a reason for them to hurt, I want to bring them so much long-awaited joy.
Baby A at 7 weeks
Baby A at 9 weeks
Cutest little gummy bear
Thankfully here we are almost 11 weeks and things are going perfectly. I have graduated from the fertility clinic and am now in the hands of my OB. The best thing- I am off all medications! Those hormones are no fun. I swear they make pregnancy symptoms ten times worse. Day by day I am feeling better and not finding myself in bed before 7! I am beyond excited for my intended parents and with every passing week I can see the excitement in them which is exactly why I do this.
I have been granted permission to share with you a bit about this amazing couple, so without further adieu:
Meet Brian and Sarah. They have been married for eight years. Two years into their marriage they started trying for a baby. To make a long story short, doctors could never pinpoint exactly why Sarah was struggling to conceive and stay pregnant. Everything they deemed an issue they thought they could fix. They literally exhausted every option in an attempt to grow their family. Meeting with a reproductive immunologist, a rheumatologist, a high risk OB-GYN, a reproductive endocrinologist, and an acupuncturist. They were able to conceive naturally, but never made it to a heartbeat. They had a few failed rounds of IUI, and 4 rounds of frozen embryo transfers. This sweet couple has had a total of seven miscarriages, including one ectopic pregnancy. With one embryo left, they took a leap into the surrogacy world and met me! The goal now is to nourish and love this little belly buddy until I can proudly ugly cry while watching them hold their baby for the first time.
