I have been blessed
with carrying two perfect angels and couldn’t imagine the stress and struggles
that come with infertility. I have dropped subtle hints and even flat out told
my husband for years that I would love to be a surrogate. He thought I had lost
my mind and would brush it off. Being a
woman I just wouldn’t shut up about it and he eventually told me go for it.
That night, with a zipped lip, I filled out my first application.
The most common question I hear from people when they find
out I want to be a surrogate is, why? To
be given the opportunity and trust to carry another life for a couple, to make
someone a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, I guess the question is more “why
not?”
There are two types
of surrogates- Traditional and Gestational.
Traditional
Surrogacy is when
the surrogate mother who uses her own eggs to create the child that she is
carrying for the intended parents or individual. Either sperm of the intended
father is used or donor sperm. Even though the surrogate mother has a genetic
connection to the child all intentions are for her to grant parental rights of
the child she is carrying to the intended parents or individual that she has
created a legal agreement with prior to the start of the cycle. The child is
handed over to the other party right after the birth.
Gestational
Surrogacy is when
the surrogate mother carries a baby for an intended couple or individual. The
gestational surrogate has no genetic relationship to the child that she is
carrying. The intended mother goes through a traditional IVF cycle to create
embryos using the sperm of the intended father or from a sperm donor that will
then be transferred to the surrogate. In some cases, an egg donor might be
needed. A woman who agrees to serve as a gestational surrogate must sign a
gestational surrogacy contract prior to engaging in the surrogacy. The
gestational surrogate must agree to medical evaluation and treatment during her
participation in the program. If at least one member of the commissioning
couple is the genetic parent of the child, the commissioning couple are
presumed to be the natural parents of the child gestated by the surrogate.
The second
biggest question I hear is, “how will I be able to give the baby away?” Surrogacy isn’t for everyone. It’s a huge sacrifice
to make mentally and physically. I'm sure I will have hormonal days where I think "why did I do this?" Days I cry, days I laugh, and days of pure excitement. I have made the choice to be a gestational
surrogate. The child I will carry will have no linking DNA to me. Sure, I will
bond with this baby, but I understand this is not my child. I can’t think of a
bigger gift to give to another human being than to give them their little life
they created.
While I
have just skimmed the surface of my journey, I can’t wait to be able to answer
the questions of “who, when, and where.”
My intended parents are out there, and whether I’m matched tomorrow,
next week or in six months, my heart is exploding with excitement and
butterflies.
